


Whose Line Is It Anyway?

by YourPalYourBuddy



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, M/M, Snapshots, Swearing, everyone's alive and pretty happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 04:36:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10429218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourPalYourBuddy/pseuds/YourPalYourBuddy
Summary: Snapshots into a happy Kylux AU. Gratuitous usage of quotes from the series.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ohemdee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohemdee/gifts).



____________

 

“That’s no moon,” Hux says.

Ren elbows him out of the way of the telescope. He’s absolutely, totally incorrect. “The fuck’re you talking about, ‘that’s no moon’? That’s Ganymede, you idiot; you’re gonna screw up our project.”

“You’re doing that well enough,” Hux murmurs, but Ren ignores him.

He takes a note of Ganymede’s relative position to Jupiter, carefully sketching faint lines connecting them. For the hell of it he adds a wine goblet and adds HUX SUX along the rim.

Hux is still looking through the telescope when he says, “I may not know much about dating, but I’m decently sure you’re not supposed to say these types of things to your boyfriend.”

“You’re right,” Ren says, somewhat sheepish. “My b.”

Hux raises an eyebrow at him now. “‘My b’? That’s it, I’m breaking up with you.”

But he says it right before kissing Ren on the mouth, so Ren figures he doesn’t mean it.

______

 

“When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.”

Leia musses his hair and Ren flinches away from her. “I told you, sweetheart, that gets less funny every time you say it.”

“You’re just bitter that I beat you at Smash Bros.,” Ren mutters.

“You wanna go?” Leia says, making big, overexaggerated ‘come at me bro’ gestures.

Ren says, wincing, “Shit, Mom, don’t do that,” but she just messes up his hair again.

______

 

“The force is strong with this one,” Ren says, struggling to separate two magnets. “Why’d you stick them together?”

“Why’re you talking stupid?” Hux replies with a slight smile. He leans on the fridge.

Ren says, “My goduncle says it a lot, for whatever reason.”

“Goduncle?”

“My godfather’s uncle. He looks at magnetic force in the magnetosphere.” He pulls a butter knife from the drawer and uses the edge to try and pry them apart.

Hux fills a cup with a noisy amount of ice cubes. They’re crunching up his words when he asks, “Ben?”

“Indeed.”

“You realize,” and here Hux swallows, “that your godfather is your uncle, right?”

The magnets separate, finally; Ren slaps them on the fridge and shakes out his arms. “I’m aware.”

“Then tell me you know that your uncle’s uncle is your great-uncle.” Hux crunches another handful of ice to punctuate his not-a-question.

Ren looks at him. “That’d be true if my uncle was biologically related to me.”

“Ren,” Hux starts, putting his hands on his shoulders. Ren squirms; Hux’s hands are cold. “He  _ is _ related to you. Luke’s your mother’s twin.”

He crosses his arms and boops Hux’s nose with his own. “Never said he wasn’t,” he says with a shit-eating smile, and laughs when Hux’s expression clouds and then clears in annoyed understanding.

______

 

“It’s a trap!” Grandpa Ani says, teetering along with his walking stick.

Ren picks up his bags and they start toward the car. “What’s a trap?”

“Doctors,” Grandpa Ani says darkly. “They always charge too much. Did you know it cost me an arm and a leg to get my lungs looked at? I hadn’t been breathing right for so long and—no, it was closer to two arms and two legs, I’m remembering right now—for some years and that whatever scan was so expensive. You know, back in my day we had to race cars if we ever wanted to leave and be anything. There’s some glory in that, but I just got lucky to have met your grandma, and that stupid healthcare system screwed us over when she had your mom and uncle, and let me tell you—”

______

 

“‘Fear is a path to the darkside’,” Hux repeats, his voice slow and thoughtful. Ren reaches to take his hand and he twines their fingers together. “I didn’t get what he meant at first.”

“Grandpa Ani’s pretty dramatic,” Ren admits (it hurts to say that. Grandpa Ani’s the bravest most intelligent man Ren’s ever met), “but yeah, they just gave the attractions really bizarre names.”

They passed the sign that read “Fear” a few minutes ago, and ahead the ride “Darkside” is lit up with a chain of dusty purple lights. Hux’s fingers shiver in his hand.

“Cold?” Ren asks, bumping his shoulder.

“A little,” Hux says. Ren pulls him closer to his side, and they board the ride like that.

______

 

“You have hate, you have anger. But you don’t use them,” Han notes. “Interesting strategy.”

“It’s just Monopoly, Dad,” Ren says, rolling his eyes.

______

 

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Hux says. 

Ren spreads out on his towel and says, “Relax for once, why don’t you?”

Hux tosses a bit of sand at him. “No, because I’m gonna burn, and you’re gonna be there with a fantastic tan while I look like Sebastian from the Little Mermaid.”

“Look, I told you to pack sunscreen,” Ren says, adjusting his sunglasses. “Not my fault if you get red.”

“I just don’t want be a lobster before summer even really begins,” Hux says. He lies down on his stomach, and Ren lazily catches him checking him out. Ren stretches his back. “Stop that.”

“Stop what?” Ren asks, smiling.

“You know,” Hux replies, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Ren does.

______

 

“These aren’t the droids you’re looking for,” Han says. He steers Ren away from the iPhones toward the Androids at the back of the store, ignoring his protests.

Ren says, “But Hux has an iPhone.”

“We all have Androids,” Han says. He picks up a white phone with orange accents to take a closer look at it. “Your uncle has two; I think Grandpa Ani made him the gold one, actually.”

“How’d Grandpa Ani make him a phone?”

Han shrugs. “Your grandpa’s a smart guy. 

Ren sets his jaw, thinking. “I wanna make my own phone.”

“If you want to,” Han says, clapping him on the shoulder, and they leave the store.

______

 

“Never tell me the odds.”

Hux looks at him over his math book. “You don’t like odd numbered problems?”

“Of course fuckin’ not,” Ren says in disgust. He lets the pages of his book flop back to page 394 and picks up his pencil again. “The answers are only in the back if they’re even problems.”

“You could just, y’know, do the problem,” Hux says airily. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Ren grumbles.

______

 

“I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere,” Ren mutters, shaking out his swim trunks for the fiftieth time. A cloud of sand billows out.

“Ben, I told you not to do that in the house,” Leia calls from the computer.

Ren walks up behind her and leans on the back of her chair. She’s playing some starship destroyer game, one of the older, eight bit ones. “How’d you know what I was doing?”

“Sixth sense,” she says. She blows up a huge ship and the screen explodes into white streaks.

“What’s it doing?”

“Lightspeed,” she replies. “You know, if you’d put down a fitted sheet like I’d told you, you’d be less sandy.”

Ren says, “I’ll take it under advisement,” and she pats his elbow.

______

 

“I love you,” Ren says. The box of chocolate is shaking; if he tries very, very hard, he can pretend it’s moving apart from his unsteady hand. 

Hux leans against his doorpost and takes the chocolate from him. He very, very carefully opens the packaging and slides the box out of the wrapping. Ren has never, not once, wished to be able to read someone’s mind, but right now he’d give anything to know what Hux was thinking. He shifts his stance.

His boyfriend pops the lid off and scans the diagram before choosing one. Hux looks at him steadily and says, “I know.”

That twists uneasily in Ren’s stomach. “Ah. Yeah,” he says, awkwardly tapping a beat out on the railing of Hux’s porch.

There’s a silence that’s only broken by Hux steadily eating the chocolate. Ren studies his nails, trying to calm his nerves.

After a few minutes he’s vaguely aware that Hux is laughing. Indignant, he asks, “What’s so funny?”

It takes Hux some time to catch his breath. “Just thought you’d’ve said something before just now,” he replies. “I mean, that you wouldn’t’ve let the silence go on that long.”

Ren sort of shrugs helplessly. Hux stops laughing.

“I love you, too,” Hux says. His tone is bordering on uncertain. “You do know that?”

And that’s an entire ball of stress that’s just now dissolving from Ren’s shoulders. “You asshole,” he says, sweeping Hux into a hug. Hux presses his lips to the skin just under Ren’s ear.

“That’s it,” Hux murmurs. “I’m breaking up with you.”

But they’re kissing now, and Ren is pretty sure he doesn’t mean it.

____________

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for [Emdeewrites](http://archiveofourown.org/users/realcanadianconsultant/pseuds/emdeewrites), because she's writing [a really good and angsty Kylux fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9623402/chapters/21741557) and I've been messing with her by writing aus off to the sides of her drafts. It's really, really good; I highly recommend that you check it out :)
> 
> This is my first Star Wars fic (I'm more a [Captain America writer](http://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&work_search%5Bfandom_ids%5D%5B%5D=586439&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=0&commit=Sort+and+Filter&user_id=YourPalYourBuddy)) so please please let me know what you think :)


End file.
